one side of me

sebenernya yang butuh itu siapa sih?

kalo situ ngerasa butuh, ya harusnya bertindak dong.

orang mungkin melihat kamu sebagai sosok yang bijaksana, berpandangan ke depan, dan blah blah blah, tapi di hadapanku, image kamu sudah cukup hancur, ga perlu makin dihancurin lagi.

I just hope that when that time comes, I would have found something new and would have moved on on him. Not that I’m planning on forgetting him, just to make sure that I won’t get hurt with it. But thinking that someday I’ll just leave him like that is already scared me.

I’m trying to be fine with this

I’m just surprised on this sudden big news

yeah, I’m just shocked and then fine.

but…

If I really am fine, why this heart says there is something that is SLIGHTLY wrong?

If I really am fine, why is it hard to believe on it, to accept it, and to not be affected by it?

If I really am fine, then why am I writing this in my blog?

I once dreamed about him being sick and hospitalized, then just in a few days I got a news that he really was sick and had been hospitalized for awhile.

Then tonight, I dreamed about him marrying someone and that I was attending his wedding ceremony.

Then I told him, I told him that I had a dream about him (again), I was smiling when I typed that on his Facebook, I was expecting him to say nonsensical stuff just to fool me around just like we used to be, but I was wrong. I got his reply, saying that in a week from now, he is going to propose to his girl.

Then my smile dropped.

Yet, I typed such a smiley reply for him, congratulating and teasing him.

I guess, I’ll be able to forget about this tomorrow, when I open my eyes and start my day. This might just a temporary shock I feel ‘cause someone who has been so kind to me is taking a step away for me.

When I’m finally home and tell him that I’m home, he - probably - asks for a meet up in front of my house or maybe his house - just because we’re a neighbor - and I’ll just greet him nicely like nothing’s changed. Yes, it supposes to be like that.

Simply like that.

When I was a child, I used to pray to God for a bicycle. But then I realized that God doesn’t work in that way… So I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness instead

“

—	yunho on livejournal. (reading this quote is like getting a hard slap on my face, reminding me that you can rely on no one to get what you want. you HAVE TO get it on your own.)

i wish i could only write for the rest of my life. i meant it.

There is a little truth behind every just kidding. A little curiosity behind every just wondering. A little knowledge behind every I don’t know. A little emotion behind every I don’t care. And a little kick of lie behind the distant eyes of someone saying I don’t love you.

“

—	(via picsandquotes)

tbh, i’m tired of my own life

tbh, i’m getting tired of my own friends! i really miss my real friends, if only we’re not this far. pathetic, isn’t it?

it’s amazing how someone so far away can hurt me this much. i wonder if i have a boyfriend, who i will probably meet up everyday, how much the pain he will cause?

“

—	minosanside